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Backyard Birds

by Zapruder Point

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1.
100X 02:15
the distance that this light has travelled is measured best in tears shed matching up the names and faces tripping over cracks in your head 100 times a day 100 times a day the dimensions of this planet are measured best in vessels burst trying to recall the chording leading to the second verse (again) 100 times a day honored and betrayed 100 times a day hammering away surprised to be surprised to be surprised to be oh the depths that you’ve ascended oh the heights to which you fell keep ‘em close and keep ‘em coming and don’t forget to forgive yourself 100 times a day honored and betrayed 100 times a day hammering away
2.
write it on a light bill envelope stick it on a stretch of tape a new tune or an ancient melody who could tell the difference eh? suddenly spotted it disappears but it’s gotta be here somewhere spying on her up in the balcony reading in the heavy sun didn’t she dissolve your gravity weren’t you the lucky one but the name on the jacket it isn’t so clear but it’s gotta be here somewhere it’s gotta be here somewhere trying to sleep in the summer with your head laying low embracing yourself and bracing yourself for the light that's pouring in so slap it on the side of your monitor seal it in a laminate a new sensation or a data point mustn’t let it get away but if you feel it slipping it’s nothing to fear it’s gotta be here somewhere
3.
recipes and manuals backyard birds and annuals ah what’s in a name when it fades anyway bottles and collectibles photographs regrettable ah what’s in a name anyway when it fades letters slip into a gloss double words they double cross ah what’s in a game when it pains you to play i brush away the bothering but offer thanks for offering ah what’s in a day when it rains and it rains there are times i lose the thread myself say hello and shrink into my shell there are times i lose the thread myself say hello and shrink into my shell cross my fingers hope it all goes well there are times i couldn’t even tell recipes and manuals backyard birds and annuals ah what’s in a name when it fades anyway
4.
weekday night in august the champs are loading in sharing a kit's a must whenever this begins don't let's stop don't let's stop it now just try to get every level sorted out and huddled in a corner rich envy in my bones barely looking over grimacing at my phone don’t let’s stop don’t let’s stop it now ready set could somebody count it down and the weight and the sway of the sound properly hollows me out it escaped my attention but now i'll follow it all the way down weekday night in august the lightweights deliver joy as an act of trust or faith if you prefer don’t let’s stop don’t let’s stop it now settle up settle up and wander out and the weight and the sway of the sound properly hollowed me out it escaped my attention but now i'll follow it all the way down
5.
Again Again 03:06
summer’s ending i don’t know why chasing after a chlorine high again and again and again your haystack hair and naked feet slapping all the way down the street again and again and again i can hear a distant bell raining down upon our shell you can hardly even tell but i can hear a distant bell that everybody knows so well weightless under a wondrous sky you ask me maybe a hundred times again and again and again to stop my staring and watch you dive i raise and lower my tired eyes again and again and again and i have taken on a tone put upon and over blown every shape and color's flown 'cause i have taken on a tone that everybody calls their own summer's ending it's right on time i watch you sink and i watch you rise again and again and again please again and again and again please again please again
6.
Up and Back 02:26
first side second track heading north on my up and back and i'm sleepy-eyed and i'm unprepared but i guess i'm getting there brew's bitter on my tongue heading for that patch of sun yeah it might be up but it's hard to tell when i'm suffering so well should i take any pictures? will you know how to smile? am i always on trial? counting every car i pass marking the colors to hold me fast cause i’m spinning out like a hit parade i'm a million miles away there’s red and gray and black and there's the light coming up and back and i’m so alive and it’s so unfair did i get the right flowers? will you keep them alive? will i ever arrive? i'll nod and hold your hand and pretend that i understand yeah i guess i can yeah i guess i can i can nod and hold your hand and pretend that i understand yeah i guess i can yeah i bet i can
7.
19-20-21 01:57
8.
First Term 04:11
it started with some promises because it always does a phenomenon that blew out of a buzz it was followed by some purchases followed by regret and a series of unfortunate events in a term that wouldn’t give us any rest so you paid it some attention traced it all in red but it split into a million little threads til you were standing in your boxers scrolling down a glass as the echoes of your family ripped past in a term that no one thought was gonna last now we skim through glades of articles that engineer divides and we give our children drills on how to hide and there’s substance in the spectacles and fire in the feeds but nothing quite resembles what we need in a term that marches on relentlessly endlessly don't get tempted into wishing for a not too distant day when every trial and error burns away don't get tempted into dreaming there's all this time to save by beating back on every little wave don't get tempted into thinking you're out of things to say you should fight for something more than normalcy fight for something more than work and play in a term that’s on the brink of giving way either way
9.
Patch of Sun 02:44
the sky isn't frozen cause it never is sprawling down on the carpet with my kid waiting on that patch of sun wondering if it'll ever come we disassemble and assemble things describing the circles that we're circling waiting on that patch of sun nineteen to twenty to twenty-one it'll bless us for a second or a season then we'll watch it disappear for no reason for no reason the weather's a button on a little screen we are the customers and we're the kings waiting on that patch of sun we're meant to whistle until it comes my kid is looking for a certain piece a wheel for an axle with a subtle crease waiting on that patch of sun when the piece in his head is so nearly won it'll bless us for a second or a season then we'll watch it disappear for no reason but it was decent the sky isn't frozen cause it never is the sky isn't frozen did you notice it
10.
draw a breath and then let it go plain enough but even so i'm just paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing picking up on every sign walking in a straight line but i'm paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing and it's a long time to go any more but it's not far to go any more pockets full of shaky hands making films making plans but i'm paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing slip into the great unknown you say hello i say hello but i'm paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing and i don't wanna miss any more but i say i can't look any more and i say i'm not looking any more and i say i'm not looking i'm feeling every note is flat but no one's even noticed that i'm paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing so give us iron and give us rope but don't abandon any hope i'm just paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing and i say i can't look any more but i don't wanna miss any more no i don't wanna miss it any more no i don't wanna miss it draw a breath and then let it go plain enough but even so i'm just paraphrasing - i'm just paraphrasing and it's a long time to go any more but it's not far to g
11.
i know that i love you i'm sure of it now but i must have forgotten somehow the light at the window the shape of your smile set me adrift for a while i was under the oak tree and petting the grass six and in awe of the sky i was tracing the branches and breaking the clouds and losing whatever i found it must have escaped me til now oh til now i know that you love me i'm sure that you're near but i must have forgotten back there if you try to forgive me i'll try to hold on to the words as they fly through the air the air that we happily share oh for now

about

Zapruder Point’s Backyard Birds is many things. A meditation on memories made, lost, and regained. A document of the daily struggle between weariness and mindfulness. A tug-of-war between hope and the throwing up of hands. It is a celebration of holding fast, making one’s way, showing up, and coming around.

The melodies range from the driving riff of the fight song “100X” to the sweetly melancholic “Must Have Forgotten.” “Again Again” interrupts the cheerful bounce of summer nostalgia with a wistful tone hinting at regret, blending them in the final lines. “Here Somewhere” barrels through a dozen ways of remembering even as the song trembles in the face of forgetting. And its reassurance that it’s gotta be here somewhere, evolves in the title song to ask “what’s in a name when it fades anyway?”

It is an album that rewards listening in order. Songs echo and connect; threads reemerge. The title of a song recalls an earlier lyric or predicts a later one. The losses (of words, connections, and nostalgic joys) in one song are recouped in another. Repeating phrases both lyrical and musical are nestled in unexpected corners reaching across songs in a way that reminds us of the persistence of connection.

Backyard Birds is an album that invites us to follow it past the surface of one who, in the words of “Up and Back,” is “suffering so well.” It reminds us of the dis-ease and disease that plagued 2019, 20, and 21. But it also urges us to wait on a patch of sun, to dive and to rise, and, in the closing song, to remember “the air that we happily share” – if not always, at least “for now.”

credits

released March 20, 2023

Written, sung, played, "programmed," mixed and mastered by Dan Phillips between June 2022 and February 2023. Accordion on "Up and Back" by Scott Phillips. Photo on album cover by Piper Kruse. Thanks to Amy, Archer, Scott, Greg, Jenn, and Piper. This album is dedicated to my mom, born in November with the surname Bardsley, and the fiercest Scrabble player I've ever known.

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Zapruder Point Cincinnati, Ohio

Zapruder Point is a Cincinnati-based sad bastard songwriter with a pretty voice.

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